The Most Absurd And Terrible Bar Designs That Jon Taffer Doesn’t Want To See

lol | Rick Lax & Friends | 9/5/18

Whenever you’re in a bar, you probably want to have some drinks, indulge in snacks and watch the game. You’re in the right place at the right time, but then something out of the ordinary throws you off. Some bars just go a bit too far above and beyond in order to look ‘unique’.

I’m sorry, but what you’re about see are some horrific designs that make no sense. What I’m not sorry about is the fact that you have to share your pain with me.

But, to the people who designed these bars, well, I think Jon Taffer may want a few words with you.

Beercorn And Ponghole

jughandle/Reddit

Alexis must be a popular person. I guess somebody knows what they’re doing, but ponghole sounds intriguing. I would like to know what the game is all about if it even is a game. I’m sure there is a mix of beer pong in this.

The real question is, do they have beer corn? If I ever find out what this is all about, it will be an event at next year’s Beer Olympics.

That’s A Nice TV Right Above The Dart Boards

The_Tasty_Cactus/Reddit

Whoever did this is brave. They’re kind enough to put a flat screen TV right above the dart boards. I guess the individual didn’t realize that this is where intoxicated people throw tiny sharp arrows at the wall.

It’s not like someone is going to use their hand as a dart board voluntarily. If they do, what could go wrong? I’m underestimating people when I ask that since it’s pretty high up to be hit.

A Good Way To Remind People How Intoxicated They Are

RobertAPetersen/Reddit

The second you walk in here, you’ll think you stumbled into Willy Wonka’s bathroom. Sure, you’re intoxicated, but why would you do this to a drunk person? Guys are going to feel so lost when they pee.

The lousy tile job gives them a higher chance of peeing anywhere but in the toilet. But, that job will be left for the janitor, who questions why the wall is the way it is every time.

A bathroom mirror that decodes when you’re wasted is still on the way.

Amazing Beer Menu

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That’s awesome. I love the whole policy of the bar changed because of the owner’s mother. If this were my bar, I would do the same because beer bottles lead to shenanigans. I wouldn’t condone drinking too much and smashing bottles; it’s not good for business or yourself.

However, the menu goes to show how a woman is sturdy and fabulous all at the same time. Keep it up! Your sense of humor is excellent.

Drink In A Bag, Anyone?

4footChicken/Reddit

We live in a world of hipster gastronomy, and it’s not the greatest. Believe it or not, this drink was served in a Chinese takeout container. But, because it’s made of paper and full of holes, they had no other choice.

No thank you and a half. I would demand a refund or compensation for free food. If that doesn’t happen, it would be wise to find a new Chinese restaurant so this doesn’t happen again.

It Decodes When You’re Wasted

laveitaetroppobreve/Reddit

Yeah, the mirror wasn’t made for you to look at. You can’t even take a selfie with the mirror. Of course, all of that defeats the whole purpose of a bathroom mirror. You want to look at yourself before going back to your table.

With this, you’ll have a hard time knowing if you have a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth. If you do, well, hopefully someone tells you.

The next one ahead is uncomfortable, so grab your bathroom buddy.

A Complicated Matter

sophiekrull/Reddit

Uh oh, this could get ugly. One thing I can’t stand is how complicated bathroom signs can be. If it takes more than a second to figure out which bathroom is which, and frankly, I’m using whichever one is open.

But, based on the signs we can figure it out. The one to the right is the men’s room, only because of the collar on the wrist. The ladies washroom is the ‘setters.’ The only difference is the wrist.

Nice Map Bud

nickcourchesne/Reddit

The moment you walk into the bar, you’ll be scanning the map real quick. As you see, there are a bunch of countries missing here. Please tell me this is a joke.

All I wanted to do was a book a trip to Africa. But I ended up in somewhere else. It sucked because I didn’t bring my skis. My assumption was I was going on a safari.

Who Needs A Bathroom Buddy?

PreacherDudeBox/Reddit

Image you walk into the men’s room and you see these two urinals. You think for a second because there’s no divider between you and now you’re going to make a possible bathroom buddy. Also, it’s in a dark hallway, but that’s how all the best fan fictions start.

If you find it embarrassing, you can use the corner one or use a stall. That way, you can shield yourself off. It’s not a crappy design, just a low budget idea.

One bathroom is messing with the minds of its patrons, all thanks to a popular Netflix show which you’ll see in a little bit.

Something’s Off

Roblicki/Reddit

Is it just me or does this guy look like a Fallout One character? Maybe the next time you set up four big flat screen TV’s, you should line them up correctly. It will be better that way instead of having frustrated bar patrons who want to watch the game.

You don’t want to deal with those people. They’ll be upset and be all like “My dude, why are the TV’s whacky weird like Weird Al’s music?”

Crooked Outlet? You Need A Blue Print For That

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Someone went ahead and built the bar but didn’t realize there was an outlet issue. “Oh no, our minds slipped and we forgot the outlet that’s on a weird angle. Might as add some signs to make it blend in more.”

It’s not like anyone is going to come to the bar and not point out the obvious. Next time you plan on renovating your bar, be sure to have a blueprint of what you want to do.

Welcome To The Upside Down

silly_vasily/Reddit

Holy mackinaw, this is on the same level as Stranger Things. Or, the bar is trying to mess with our hands. It’s terrifying but kind of cool at the same time. I think we can say that they’re attempting to do both at the same time.

Either way, drunk patrons are going to be freaking out over this. They’ll assume they entered an episode of the popular Netflix show, but really, they had too much to drink.

When you can’t spare a square, the next one ahead will make you feel like Elaine from Seinfeld.

The Takeout Cocktail

crocscrusader/Reddit

There’s a ton of irony behind this. The ultimate irony about a take-out container cocktail is that in most states, it’s illegal to take it to go, duh. However, one bar decided to leave the glasses behind and be more creative.

The container shouldn’t be cardboard, it should be glass so the cocktail doesn’t get everywhere. There’s a ton of ice, and there doesn’t appear to be any liquor. I wouldn’t dare take a drink from that.

A Glass Of Water In A Measuring Cup

ginger_sauce/Reddit

It’s stupid some bars do this, but at least it’s designed to hold liquid. If there’s one thing I want when I’m enjoying a cold one, it’s for me to know how much I’m drinking before the buzz starts to kick in.

But, the straw is a bit too long, and they need to stop using them altogether. Next time, ask for a regular glass, if they have any that is.

When You Can’t Spare A Square

Boopster590/Reddit

When a bar dispenses toilet paper by the single square, you can tell they’re cheap. Instead of a roll, you’ll be frantically asking the next person in the stall to spare a square. Whoever came up with this must have been a fan of Seinfeld.

Especially the episode where Elaine can’t spare a square because she has nothing to use. Great, now every patron is going to be like Elaine from the show about nothing.

Have you ever seen a sink with a cage? You’ll see more of what that’s all about in a little bit.

What An Innovative Way To Watch The Game

benweldy/Reddit

Who had the lightbulb moment and thought it would be great to dangle it in front of the TV? They should be fired for doing this because it ruins the whole purpose of watching the game. Like, what if a big play happens or a home run leaves the ballpark at a crucial moment?

You’re going to have a lot of upset people, and that might mean losing business. Or, they could move the TV to another spot.

OMG NO WAY

CWM_93/Reddit

OMG, this bar’s name is precisely what you think it is. But, from the inside of the window, it’s GMO, which is genetically modified organisms. Now, the restaurant name doesn’t sound appetizing at all.

Thanks to this sign, I’m not exactly sure if I want to come here for a beer after a long day of work. The devil horns and the angel halo are a giveaway, so I guess that means it’s good and evil.

Cage The Sink

jdmitch93/Reddit

The cage is in a bathroom bar in Delhi. I guess that means you’re not allowed to wash your hands? Or, they want to make it more difficult for tourists. I’m certainly confused by this. The bar is asking for you to spread germs and get every patron sick.

It’s not the best idea, and it’s rather strange. However, the important thing is this, how do you dry your hands afterward?

Atmesfir

lightiskira2144/Reddit

It will take you time to realize what’s going on here. To help you out, those aren’t “I’s” on the other side of the word. Also, the bar’s name is Atmesfir, but really, all they did was misspell the word “atmosphere.”

It seems like a genius idea. It’s made like this so people enter the bar to ask its actual name and end up eating there. That is a perfect way to market your bar to get people to come.

The Mystery Door

Olidag/Reddit

Well, what do we have here? I’m seriously asking this because I have no idea what’s going on here. It makes no sense, but let’s have some fun with it, shall we? For starters, it’s a mystery door, but what’s behind it?

Storage full of food? A freezer full of food? A bathroom closet? I don’t know what to assume this is. Even if you ask the manager, they’ll tell you it’s fine, but it isn’t.