Grandparents Here To Remind Us All That We’ll Never Be As Hardcore As Them

humor | Rick Lax & Friends | 7/23/18

We all know what the typical grandparent is supposed to be. They exist for the sole purpose of spoiling grandchildren and having an endless supply of those weird strawberry candies. Grandpa is supposed to entertain you for hours with his old war stories while grandma is baking her famous apple pie.

Well, these grandparents aren’t like that. They may still love to knit and watch tv soap operas, but these old folks can also do a better keg-stand than the frat boys down the street. Not only are these grandparents more savage than anyone we know, but they also remind us just how uncool we truly are.

Grandma’s Got A Nasty Right Hook

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Photo credit: Reddit

People always think the old ladies are the ones most likely to be attacked, but I firmly believe they’re the most dangerous. Grandma here has survived world wars, had to protect her children, and claw her way to the top to break the glass ceiling.

Having a solid right hook and brass knuckles to back it up doesn’t surprise me at all.

So That’s Why Nona’s Been Looking Fresh Each Time You Visit

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Photo credit: @dank.aussie.memes_ / Instagram

Nona’s fallen in with the wrong crowd since Nono passed away. Those fresh crops, combined with her new perm and trendy choker, means Nona must be single and ready to mingle.

She might not have that dual pension plan now, but she’s making due with the five-finger discount.

Pops Is In Better Shape Than I’ll Ever Be

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Photo credit: @b_flex14 / Twitter

I understand that the polite thing to do is offer your seat to someone elderly, but I can tell just from a photo that this grandpa is in better shape than I ever will be. Any elderly man that can wear slim fit jeans and a vest is probably stronger than anyone you know.

The couple coming up is a reminder that no matter how cool you are, you can’t pull off these couple tattoos.

Damn, Doreen

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Photo credit: @paytongrett / Twitter

Doreen has a more active social life than I’ll ever have. Not only is she living her best life vacationing in Mexico, but she’s also managed to become the ringleader of a pack of young, impressionable women.

I’d give anything to know what worldly advice she gave them after five shots of tequila.

That’s A Power Move If I’ve Ever Seen One

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Photo credit: @FabSakker / Twitter

I’m sure grandpa was a great guy, but he didn’t steal her heart the way boyfriend number one did. I just want to know what this man did to capture her heart for so many years.

The romantic in me says he probably died heroically in war, but the realist in me says he just broke her heart and moved on.

Straight Outta Chesapeake, Virginia

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Photo credit: @dalemayphoto / Twitter

Knuckle tattoos should be reserved for people who did a stint in prison and want to kill you, but I’ll make an exception for this hardcore couple. If you forget the fact that they have “true love” tattooed on them, they look like your everyday grandparents. These two are icons.

Everyone assumes grandparents suck at technology, but keep reading to see how this grandma is an expert at using tech just to make fun of you.

Respect The Crochet Jeep Wheel Cover

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Photo credit: Neverstillcreations / Reddit

Jeep people are a breed of their own and take owning a Jeep very seriously. They even wave to each other when they pass each other on the road. But I think a Jeep with a crochet wheel cover deserves a little extra respect.

Maybe a wave and a honk, or some finger guns. Whatever it is, show some respect to this grandma.

Proof That Wu-Tang Really Is Forever

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Photo credit: C4H10 / Imgur

If you had any doubt that Wu-Tang Clan was one of the most influential hip-hop groups in history, then these sweaters should convince you.

These two are probably sweet, innocent grandparents by day, but they put on the sweater, and suddenly grandpa has a pocket knife, and grandma knows every word to “Protect Ya Neck.”

Jell-O Shots Made With The Finest Cognac From The Old Country

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Photo credit: @melaniesohl / Instagram

Grandparents are supposed to be humble, but this grandma has zero chill. She’s here to remind you about that time you couldn’t take down half a shot of green apple Smirnoff. Meanwhile, she’s shooting back Jell-O shots on a Tuesday afternoon in her golf-course condo.

Grandparents can get lonely too. If their partner has passed away, what’s stopping them from shooting their shot?

Step Up Your Cosplay Game

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Photo credit: moonicourt / Reddit

Cosplay isn’t just for the hardcore fans out there. Anyone can do it with a little imagination and a lot of guts. This grandfather’s Princess Leia and R2D2 cosplay is honestly pretty impressive.

I don’t think I have enough confidence to rock the double buns like he can.

Surprise, Brittany, They’re Still Alive

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Photo credit: @MsBurgerPHS / Twitter

If you think you can get away with not calling Poppy and Grammie three months in a row, you’re very mistaken. And don’t even think about avoiding Christmas dinner at their house.

They may not be able to text you, but they can throw shade in an old school way that hurts even more.

Grandma Isn’t Afraid To Shoot Her Shot

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Photo credit: @sirotilcsag / Twitter

Look, grandpa’s been gone for a while, and grandma’s been getting a little bit lonely. She probably doesn’t get out as much as she used to and had to shoot her shot when she got the opportunity. Thankfully with all that time on her hands, she’s mastered the perfect bikini pose. Ms. Steal Your Granddaughter’s Man.

The grandma coming up quit her job in the most epic way that no one else could pull off.

Why Isn’t Pops Running For His Life?

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Photo credit: WalkerFLRanger / Reddit

The ability to sit on a patio and try to out-intimidate a bear is a kind of strength only grandfathers possess. This grandpa has seen it all and isn’t about to lose his life to a black bear.

He’ll go down fighting if it means protecting Nance and her world famous sweet tea.

This Grandma Was Ready To Risk It All For The ‘Gram

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Photo credit: silvervendetta / Imgur

This grandmother hanging onto the wing of a plane is basically goals. She’s got her chic high-waisted pants, a fashionable pair of aviation goggles, and a handkerchief to protect that Chanel lipstick. What more do you need?

I could never pull this off nowadays thanks to safety concerns and those things called “seatbelts.”

When You’re 60th Birthday Hits And The 401K Becomes Available

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Photo credit: @_kaitlynmcgrory / Twitter

When I leave a job, my two-week notice is well-thought out, so that if I come crying back to them, they will accept me. This grandma has more guts than I’ll ever have. It’s probably because she doesn’t need this job as a reference because she has that pension flowing in.

Keep reading to see the moment when an innocent grandchild realized her grandma will always be able to out-drink her.

He’s Talking About His Shoes, Right?

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Photo credit: jakealc1 / Reddit

Let’s be honest. No one young would dare wear this shirt. If they do, they risk looking like a complete jerk and would probably repel any ladies.

But the best part about becoming old is caring less and less every day. This man’s been happily married for years and can pull off wearing this shirt because his wife Darla has stopped caring too.

Grandparents Secretly Don’t Care About Grandchildren

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Photo credit: @lororjordan / Twitter

It’s a common misconception that grandparents live for their grandchildren. They already raised their own children, why would they want to help raise more?

All this time we thought they were spoiling their grandchildren by sneaking them candy when in reality they are just trying to keep them preoccupied and out of their hair.

I Bet That Keg Is Filled With Schweppes

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Photo credit: @MaddieRae5 / Twitter

The biggest reality check anyone can get is when they realize their grandparents partied way harder than you ever will. And it makes sense.

These grandparents have experienced everything from World War II to the Summer of Love. Of course they’re better at drinking than you are!

I’ll Never Be Confident Enough To Print And Mail A Selfie

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Photo credit: misstinkles420 / Reddit

This is the female version of the guy wearing a $5 footlong shirt. The amount of confidence and lack of care you need to have to pull this off is astronomical.

I’ll take 80 selfies and can’t decide on a single one, but this grandma takes a winner on the first shot and knows it’s good enough to print it out and mail it to you.

When The Egg Nog Hits You Hard

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Photo credit: Kemplet / Reddit

Grandma should know better than to mix her blood thinner pills with too much eggnog. It’s a disaster every time. It didn’t stop her from getting lit.

These moments are proof that the apple doesn’t fall from the Christmas tree. Next time someone complains that you got drunk and stole the turkey on Thanksgiving, tell them Grandma would be proud.